Imagine a smooth, orderly and respectful process at the southern border. After a long, arduous journey, Central American “refugees” are welcomed with open arms, handed their asylum applications, and escorted to comfortable luxury buses. They can rest their tired feet, eat their military rations, and allow their children to fall asleep while the buses cruise mile after mile on the interstate.
After a few days drive, they arrive refreshed in some of the loveliest areas of the United States, peopled by the very best of us: the Hollywood and New York elites that lecture us about generosity as they sip their poolside cocktails. They live far above us in the commanding heights where the social problems of unrestricted, illegal immigration never wash up. Their jobs — if they even need jobs — have always been safe. Immigrant gang members don’t get into the private charter schools their children attend. They don’t have to wait in crowded emergency rooms. It’s been easy for them to lecture us on our humanitarian obligations, because they’ve been safe from any downsides.
Rather than spending money on the wall, Trump could seize the moral high ground by welcoming the southern immigrants, and transporting them to places that most Americans could never afford. That’s how generous we are as a people! Using emergency appropriations and ICE agents, he can contract for transportation to the designated East Hampton and Malibu “sanctuary cities.” The policy can be announced a week or two in advance, both to maintain enthusiasm among the migrants, and also to allow the Hollywood and New York humanitarians to prepare their homes for the coming stampede.
We can use the military to set up tents on the great lawns of the East End, and they can dig latrines on Malibu beach. After all, if borders are inhumane, so are fences! The policy will be that asylum applicants must stay (free from any intrusive policing by ICE) anywhere within the boundaries of Malibu or East Hampton, while we slowly — and painstakingly — review their applications and adjudicate them through the courts. We can jump start the camps with a few weeks of food. After that they can depend on the generosity of the local property owners. Welcoming immigrants, and allowing them to share our wealth, is just the right thing to do!
Within a matter of weeks, Trump can put his elite adversaries in the position of either joining a consensus for a real border, with a real wall, or see their estates and summer homes become another Gaza.
Currently, everyday common Americans watch the progress of the caravan as it makes its way north, and we ponder the challenge to our policies. We want to be decent, and kind, but we don’t want to be taken advantage of. Once we announce this policy and start implementing it, we solve our common problem by directing it onto the lawns and beaches of the wealthy and powerful elites that condescendingly tell us “who we are” as a people.